Today followed a strange arc.
It started with a hair clipper.
And somehow, unsurprisingly, we ended up at
systems and the state of the world.
We were talking about how fair and transparent accounting seems to be the weak point of almost every system. And how interesting it is that I was genuinely motivated by a small Excel sheet a friend and I once built to track the costs of an eight-person holiday.
Since moving to the UK, I’ve been tracking my expenses. Since my sister moved out, we’ve been managing shared costs too. Always income-proportionally. In a way I’d be comfortable showing to anyone. No heroics. Just fairness.
And something clicked.
What we were doing instinctively wasn’t “being nice”. It was a way of functioning.
I also realised how my relationship with work has changed.
I used to escape. Into games. Series. Noise. Now I create — as a hobby — and it gives me dopamine. I do get tired, but I can see it clearly now: it’s the old fear-based worldview briefly resurfacing. And once you recognise it, its grip loosens almost immediately.
Video games no longer interest me. Distractions have gone quiet. Which is slightly unsettling — because when there’s nowhere to escape to, you actually have to be here. 😄
That’s when COVID came back to me. Empty streets. Silence. And how, after getting used to that, half of the old traffic already felt overwhelming.
It’s remarkable how adaptable we are. And how rarely we ask: what if this isn’t what we need to adapt to?
From there, the thought naturally followed: what would happen if people actually did what they felt drawn to?
Not out of laziness. Out of engagement. Because activities that come with genuine interest don’t feel like “work”.
Yes — many jobs would probably disappear. Not because of collapse, but because of a shift in values. And if no one wants to do a particular job voluntarily, maybe the issue isn’t people — maybe it’s the job.
This is usually where the reflex kicks in: communism. Naive. Outdated. Theoretical.
But I don’t think that’s what this is about.
I think it’s about a deeper fear: what holds us, if not coercion?
It’s not easy to imagine a system that supports you even when you’re not constantly performing. And only asks, in return, that you do what feels alive in you. Possibly more than one thing. In parallel. In rhythm.
I keep returning to the same image in my head: a chosen HQ. People hanging out. Talking. Working on projects. Living, at the same time.
And I always end up with the same question: why don’t we do it this way?
Maybe because we learned too deeply that value must hurt. That work equals suffering. That security is conditional.
What I realised today is this:
I’m not looking for a new system. I’m looking for a way of functioning where charity isn’t necessary — because problems aren’t allowed to escalate that far.
Where receiving and contributing aren’t statuses, but phases of life. Where we receive as children. Carry as adults. And later receive again — while still contributing, if we want to.
Not a revolution. Not an ideology.
Just a quiet realisation:
Maybe human nature isn’t the problem. Maybe we’ve just been forcing it to adapt to a broken system for too long.
That’s where I landed today. Tomorrow, we continue. ❤️